I have to say I’m on the fence on this one. As a traditionalist, my loyalties ought to be with the old school methods – a home group, a sponsor and a phone call. But I can’t deny the advantages of the online addiction community.
One of the most striking is the ability to contribute in a forum where there’s a chance to help others with a considered opinion. How often has it happened to you that you only think of the most helpful response after the meeting is over? With a forum, there’s the luxury of being able to quote the Big Book or the NA Basic Text, to think about what you want to say and how best to say it without being an offensive jerk.
Another advantage is availability. Traditional meetings take time: driving time, meeting time and the whole gamut of rescheduling other activities to “make a meeting.” The online community is open 24/7 with real-time chat. When I get a wonderful inspiration or want a bit of commiseration, the community is there waiting. I can dip in for twenty minutes or (sometimes) a few hours. It’s also as anonymous as can be. Some people find this very freeing, typing their own thoughts and deeds in a forum where no one can possibly know who you are and changing names is as easy as a new login.
I also like the international flavor that comes up. People from all over the world and in many different cultures can share what it means for them to have an addiction. There is an amazing amount of similarity across the board. And many of the “attendees” are stuck in situations where they have no local meeting to go to or cultural norms that prevent them from sharing elsewhere.
What’s missing?
Even with the benefits I mentioned above, there are some serious criticisms that keep me interested in having a home group to attend.
The anonymity makes it much harder to establish relationships. Sure, there are regular posters, but too often I run across someone and “click” only to never hear from them again. Offline, I get phone numbers and at least have a chance to reconnect with lapsed members. There’s also something about talking face to face. Body language and facial expression matter a great deal.
The flame wars and insults disturb me. I think this is also a result of the anonymity – you get trolls whose only motivation seems to be insulting a program or distracting the forum. At brick-and-mortar meetings, this is usually headed off by consensus, something that doesn’t happen online.
As far as inconvenience goes, there’s something to be said about the struggle to make a meeting. It seems to be part of human nature that we most value those things that cost us time and effort. In that way, the bother of making it to a meeting somehow makes that even more, well, meaningful. You know the people that are there had to pay the same price as you and everyone seems more invested in the process because of the sacrifice.
I suppose the bottom line for me has become the online community as an adjunct to offline group meetings. Not a replacement, but a nice way of staying in touch – a new dimension. There’s no reason not to have the best of both worlds here.
