Currently, many millions of Americans are in support or self-help groups dealing with over 350 different kinds of problems. Self-help, sometimes called mutual help, groups are a growing source of help.

AA was one of the first such groups, then women's consciousness-raising groups caught on in the 1960's. Now there are self-help groups for almost every conceivable problem.

They often limit admission to people who have personally had the problem being discussed; usually no professionals or "experts" are admitted. This makes it clear that your improvement is your job, not in the hands of a "doctor."

Members of the groups share experiences, exchange practical information or advice, and provide emotional support. Members feel better about themselves by helping each other. Often the groups are so helpful that members become intensely involved and dedicated. It is comforting to be truly welcomed and understood by fellow sufferers. There is no charge.

Science is just beginning to evaluate the effectiveness of different sources of support for different problems. A famous 10-year study at Stanford found that cancer patients who participated in a support group lived twice as long as those who didn't meet with a group.

Groups no longer have to meet face-to-face; within the last five years, four research publications have documented the effectiveness of online cancer support groups.

Likewise, drug abuse prevention groups run by older students (but still peers) get better results than teacher-led groups. Many self-help group members are veterans of drug treatment and psychotherapy; many believe they have gotten much more from self-help groups than from professionals.

The Self-Help Sourcebook Online summarizes more research suggesting groups provide help also with diabetes, heart problems, child abuse, mental illness (to both the patient and the family), children of alcoholics, and other disorders or difficult circumstances.

Self-help or mutual-helping groups provide many benefits: suggestions about how to cope, a chance to learn from others' experience, support and encouragement, meaningful and needed friendships, and a reduction of guilt (by finding others like yourself), and an increase in hope (Hodgson & Miller, 1982).

Another major advantage of mutual-helping groups is that they are not only a source of support but they are also a place where the helpee can become the helper. It's probably as beneficial to be a helper as to be a helpee, maybe more so (Killilea, 1976). For more information about such groups refer to Lieberman and Borman's (1979) Self-help Groups For Coping With Crises.

But the early data suggest that social support is not always helpful (although usually it is), that the "supporter" can be drained and the "supportee" pressured, that many poor people prefer isolation to exposure to a middle class helper, that relatives (e.g. 20% of the mothers of young mothers) may be intrusive and bossy, that the best source of support depends on the problem, that it is not the amount of support but the nature of the help that counts, and that it may not be the actual support so much as believing that dependable support is available if and when it is needed that does the most good.

There are even times that you shouldn't help a friend: when he/she doesn't want help, when he/she has enough help already (you should especially avoid interfering with therapy), when he/she is doing something you consider morally wrong, when he/she asks for but never takes your advice, and when he/she is using you.

One study illustrates the complexity of deciding "when will support help?" Veiel (1993) found that depressed women who had been hospitalized but were now recovered were harmed by post-hospital stays at home surrounded by close family support.

The more relatives and fewer friends they had and the more they stayed at home and didn't work outside the home, the more likely these women were to become depressed again.

It is not clear what caused the detrimental effects, but we shouldn't conclude that support is always helpful. Note that similar depressed women discharged from the hospital before full recovery benefited from family support (as did recovered women who worked and both recovered and unrecovered men).

The important point is: some friendships and group interactions are harmful. For instance, groups of depressed people who merely share the misery of their lives and neglect self-help may prolong each other's depression.

Likewise, there is clear evidence (Dishion, McCord & Poulin, 1999) that interactions between delinquent adolescents lead to more trouble with the law, drug use, violence, and even maladjustment as an adult. Science is slowly discovering when and what kind of "support" is unhelpful. Just as all therapy may not be helpful, all socializing is not helpful either.

What does this mean for self-help? First, don't hesitate to seek help if you need it. And, don't hesitate to offer help. If a friend of yours is having a hard time, avoiding him/her is far more often a mistake than a wise decision.

So, reach out and show your friend your concern, then observe to see if he/she wants your help and in what ways. You don't think you can help others? There are organizations that specialize in teaching practical ways of becoming a better helper, one-on-one or in a group.

Try Re-Evaluation Counseling or Co-Counseling. Both encourage a simple, believable way of helping and being helped, based on the benefits of expressing strong feelings safely, called discharging. Second, if the first group or source of help you reach out to doesn't seem to be beneficial, quickly try another source of help.

Caution: going to a group with much more severe handicaps than you have, can be traumatic. Another Caution: interacting at length with people who have habits and attitudes you do not want to acquire is probably unwise.

Thirdly, one group, no matter how good, probably won't be the best source of help with all the problems you might face in a life-time. Fourthly, self-help groups do not provide all the help you need; you may need professional help (see Find a Therapist) and you must use self-help methods outside your group (Tessina, 1993).

In effect, you are changing your environment by seeking new sources of support or help. Sometimes new viewpoints are necessary; intimate friends (lovers, best friends, parents) may be too involved to be good helpers.

Beyond family, friends, physician, and clergy, there is a bewildering array of possible sources of support, especially now that the Internet is so popular. Just as it is difficult to know about and to locate available self-help books, so it is difficult to know the government supported agencies and the private self-help groups that offer help in hundreds of problem areas.

If you want to try a local support group, start by calling your local Mental Health Center for information. Sometimes the local newspaper and phone directory lists groups.

Also, the local United Fund and library might have a list of self-help groups. Perhaps easiest and best is to look up Self-Help Sourcebook Online which is a great resource to help you find local groups by location and by disorder/problem.

You can also write or call American Self-Help Clearinghouse, St. Charles-Riverside Medical Center, Denville, NJ 07834 (Phone: 1-201-625-7101). If there isn't a local group of interest to you, this organization will help you establish your own self-help group.

The National Self-Help Clearinghouse, 25 West 42nd St., New York, NY 10036 (Phone: 1-212-642-2944) is also helpful. A book by Wuthnow (1994) provides information about the pros and cons of joining a support group.

Likewise, there are articles and studies discussing the advantages, disadvantages, and effectiveness of online self-help groups. Also, see Dr. Suler and StormKing. Go to "http://mentalhelp.net/" or to Google and search for "effectiveness of self-help groups."

People have been drawn by the millions to groups--perhaps appropriately called communities--on the Internet. How do you find the best ones for you since there are thousands?

I like the Websites where there are several groups dealing with a variety of problems, such as Mental Earth Community or Grohol Forums. Listings of online support groups are provided by SupportPath, Support Groups, Support4Hope, and by Liszt.

Many of the major medical Web sites and sites for specific psychological problems, like depression, panic disorder, battered women, rape victims, STD victims, etc. have their own online discussion groups. Likewise, AOL has its own Online Psych. Everyone could find a group of interest.

A few of the supportive agencies and groups in regard to stress are:

Local Mental Health Centers; Alcohol and Drug Abuse Centers. Professionals work in these agencies; make use of them. Fees are based on ability to pay.

Local Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), and Al-Anon or Alateen for relatives of alcoholics. These are self-help groups; no professionals and no charge. See alcoholism in chapter 4 for Web sites.

Local and online self-help groups based on AA principles: Gamblers Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Neurotics Anonymous, Psychotics Anonymous, Parents Anonymous (for abusive parents), and others. See chapter 4 for possible Web sites.

Local and online groups for phobic, abused, abusing, depressed, manic-depressive, schizophrenic, obsessive-compulsive, workaholic, sex addicted, over spending, etc. persons.

Local and online groups for people who are going through as crisis, such as death of a spouse or child, divorce of parents, suicide by a relative, being fired, being dumped, suffering AIDS, serious injury, mastectomy, vanished children, etc.

Local diet and exercise clinics (see comments in chapter 4); online dieting and eating disorders groups. See chapter 4.

Parents without Partners, Big Brother/Sister Organizations, Scouts, local sports-recreation programs, Foster Grandparents, and others.

Department of Family and Children Services, especially to investigate child abuse; Welfare Departments; Food Stamp Program.

Women's organizations such as Women's Centers for abused women, Women Against Rape, Day Care Cooperatives, university programs in Adult Reentry and Woman Studies, Family Planning Centers, YWCA, Displaced Homemakers (employment services), Professional Women's Organizations, Equal Rights Organizations and others.

Organizations for the aged include Gray Panthers, Foster Grandparents, Visiting Nurses Associations (for health care at home), Elder Hostel Program (travel and education), Senior Citizen Centers, Council on Aging or state Department of Aging, Meals-on-Wheels have free meals for the elderly, and volunteer programs at nursing homes and hospitals and so on.

For employment problems: Employee Assistance Programs, state Employment Office, Job Training Programs, Displaced Worker Projects, Occupational Safety and Health Hot Lines, community colleges offer various technical skills courses, and there are many occupational-professional-union organizations.

Personal growth groups, Marriage Improvement Programs, encounter groups, workshops or courses on interpersonal communication or specific concerns, self-help classes, etc.

Many support groups are focused on specific health problems: cancer, heart disease, leukemia, loss of a child, mentally and physically handicapped children, etc. See the health Web sites given later in this chapter.
 
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Warnings: A few self-help groups, similar to religious cults, become dominated by a highly controlling leader who demands loyalty to him/her or to the group. Be leery of any group that attempts to control your life.

Likewise, avoid groups which offer mystical experiences, such as talking with the dead or curing physical diseases, or which specialize in uncovering repressed memories, such as childhood sexual abuse or past lives.

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This article is an excerpt from Ch. 5 of the book by Clay Tucker-Ladd, PhD:
 Psychological Self-Help http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/