dealing with marijuana, dealing with drug abuse, drug recovery, dealing with bad habits

Horror and shock must have gone down the back of every baby boomer parent this week when the photo of 14 Olympic gold medal winner Michel Phelps smoking pot from a bong appeared in the newspaper.

The dilemma for most ex-hippy parents is that Phelps is no slacker, and they were no angel at his age. So you can't just fall back on the messages of the 1936 anti-marijuana film Reefer Madness.

So what are these baby boomer parents going to say to their teenage kids?

Smoking pot is OK - or the devil.

You as a parent don't want to condone Mr. Phelps' use because you might be encouraging your children to use it.

But you don't want to come on too strong that pot is a demon because you will be lying and your kids - being kids - will discount your comments, and do it just to be oppositional.

On the other hand you can't just ignore it. Phelps is nearly a household name.

The dilemma becomes even more intense when you know your kids are going to parties all the time where pot and alcohol are freely available.

And when they can go to Blockbuster and rent movies like the "Harold & Kumar" titles where people under the influence are having wild and funny adventures.

You may know from personal experience that some recreational drug use is typical for kids, and does not typically destroy a person's life or always lead to harder drugs.

Can we afford to wait any longer to have this discussion with our kids?

Los Angeles Clinical Psychologist Marc F. Kern, Ph.D. strongly relates to this parental dilemma and admits that even as an addiction expert he has tremendous conflicts about what is best to tell his two young teenagers.

"I have feared having to address this topic for the last 15 years," he says. Dr. Kern outlines the major issues in having a "drug talk" with kids:

    * How to not sound like a hypocrite or moralizing

    * How to tell them about your history with drugs and alcohol

    * How to say yes and no at the same time

    * Drug use is not risk-free, but it is not a disaster

    * How to talk about Phelps and others without endorsing their behavior

    * 3 essential tips to increase the likelihood that your child will actually listen to you and hold on to your advice

    * What are the 3 worse things you can say to your children

Marijuana is the most widely used illegal drug in the world, and Dr. Kern urges parents to get more information about its potential for harm, but also realize that using pot is not the end of the world.

Parents need to talk honestly with their kids about staying healthy around drugs and alcohol.

A popular guest expert on radio and TV shows, including 20/20 and Larry King Live, Dr. Kern is the author of "Take Control Now!" and co-author of "Responsible Drinking."

To schedule an interview or get more information:
Marc F. Kern, Ph.D., Addiction Alternatives, Inc.
(310-275-5433), http://www.habitdoc.com