Video: How can a recovering behavioral addict build resilience?
http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/2506/1/Video-How-can-a-recovering-behavioral-addict-build-resilience/Page1.html
Marc F. Kern
Marc F. Kern, Ph.D., has over 30 years of clinical psychotherapy experience helping people overcome their self-defeating habits and acquire the insights and skills to live happier lives. He has a deep personal understanding of the addictive process and continues his lifelong research of contemporary treatments for addiction and other destructive behaviors.
Site: http://www.habitdoc.com
Site: http://www.AAalternative.com
Also see Video Interviews with Dr. Kern.
By Marc F. Kern
Published on 04/12/2008
As a recovering behavioral addict, you build up your resilience by first of all having the mindset that this is not about doing it, it's not an event, it's not a single "I'm going to do it once" and it's going to be over.
As a recovering behavioral addict, you build up your resilience by first of all having the mindset that this is not about doing it, it's not an event, it's not a single "I'm going to do it once" and it's going to be over.
Resilience comes out of a model of, "I'm going to probably relapse, I'm probably not going to do it perfectly, and that's okay.
I need to understand that when I fall; when I relapse, or when I lapse, I'm going to pick myself up, get on the horse, and do it again.
I need to understand that it's a long-term process and the key issue is, of course, looking to gain as much as I can from a relapse; looking to see what I did wrong within the relapse that caused the relapse so I don't do it again."
Of course, you need to keep a sense of optimism out of every relapse, rather than shaming yourself, blaming yourself, or saying, "I can't do it"; realize that is about this resilience, or springing back and trying again, and again, and again.
Many recovery programs could even be conceptualized as like the acquisition of an advanced sport, like tennis or golf or something.
You can learn the rules of recovery in about a few minutes in the same way as you can learn the rules of golf in a few minutes, but it takes a lot of buckets of balls to really get good at it.
If you conceptualize it as nothing more than an advanced skill like golf, tennis, or whatever it may be, you'll have the right mindset to acquire that resilience and understand that it's important to come back and do it again, and come back and do it again.
It's never going to be a single event; it's going to be a process, and have fun with it even, to have the resilience that we would all hope for.
As a recovering behavioral addict, you build up your resilience by first of all having the mindset that this is not about doing it, it's not an event, it's not a single "I'm going to do it once" and it's going to be over.
As a recovering behavioral addict, you build up your resilience by first of all having the mindset that this is not about doing it, it's not an event, it's not a single "I'm going to do it once" and it's going to be over.
Resilience comes out of a model of, "I'm going to probably relapse, I'm probably not going to do it perfectly, and that's okay.
I need to understand that when I fall; when I relapse, or when I lapse, I'm going to pick myself up, get on the horse, and do it again.
I need to understand that it's a long-term process and the key issue is, of course, looking to gain as much as I can from a relapse; looking to see what I did wrong within the relapse that caused the relapse so I don't do it again."
Of course, you need to keep a sense of optimism out of every relapse, rather than shaming yourself, blaming yourself, or saying, "I can't do it"; realize that is about this resilience, or springing back and trying again, and again, and again.
Many recovery programs could even be conceptualized as like the acquisition of an advanced sport, like tennis or golf or something.
You can learn the rules of recovery in about a few minutes in the same way as you can learn the rules of golf in a few minutes, but it takes a lot of buckets of balls to really get good at it.
If you conceptualize it as nothing more than an advanced skill like golf, tennis, or whatever it may be, you'll have the right mindset to acquire that resilience and understand that it's important to come back and do it again, and come back and do it again.
It's never going to be a single event; it's going to be a process, and have fun with it even, to have the resilience that we would all hope for.