Published on 04/19/2008

Habits are normal and an essential for survival and growth. Habits cover a spectrum of severity-- from very healthy to somewhat destructive to life-threatening. At Addiction Alternatives, we refer to destructive habits as "unwanted repetitive behaviors" -- that is, undesirable activities, repeated over and over and that interfere with the quality of life.

If you engage in any behavior (i.e.: brushing your teeth) long enough, it will become a learned habit. It will become familiar, comfortable and you will never totally forget how to do it.
Habits are normal and an essential for survival and growth. Habits cover a spectrum of severity-- from very healthy to somewhat destructive to life-threatening. At Addiction Alternatives, we refer to destructive habits as "unwanted repetitive behaviors" -- that is, undesirable activities, repeated over and over and that interfere with the quality of life.
Altering one's state of consciousness is also normal (for instance, children like to spin or swing on a swing, adults go to amusement parks and movies). Your present destructive habit or addiction is now mostly an unconscious strategy -- which you started to develop at a naive, much earlier stage of life -- to enjoy the feelings it brought on or to help cope with uncomfortable emotions or feelings. It is simply an adaptation that has gone awry.
Although addictions are fundamentally similar, each individual and each individual's situation is different. That is why Addiction Alternatives believes there can never be only one solution that works for everyone.
Self-blame, guilt, and shame undermine change and are truly misguided. You never consciously intended to become addicted; you became stuck in a seductive, slowly entwining relationship. You did not get hooked because you are bad, stupid or diseased.
Stopping or reducing your primary unwanted habit is never enough. To assure long-term success you must develop a balanced life by adjusting a much larger assortment of lesser bad habits that are intimately connected with your primary bad habit.
In some cases it may be realistic to reduce, rather than completely eliminate, an unhealthy repetitive behavior. As such, moderation is a realistic and sensible goal for some people. In other cases, abstinence from certain behaviors is essential to attain and maintain a stable change.
Your involvement with alcohol, drugs, or other bad habits started because you liked the way they made you feel. Unhooking yourself mandates developing one essential skill: learning to face, cope, sit with, or tolerate unfamiliar (both positive and negative) feelings--without the aid of the bad habit. You cannot avoid this one skill and the sooner you start the sooner you will be free of your addiction. (Note: You acquire this skill gradually, not overnight)
Learning the origins of your unwanted habits will not stop your present destructive behaviors. Because over time, habits and addictions acquire a life of their own -- independent of the "Whys". At a later point in time however, finding out the origin of unwanted behavior may be useful in dealing with uncomfortable feelings and thoughts from the past which could lead to a return to the bad habit.
Willpower alone will work for only an indefinite time. To maintaining long-term change it is essential that you create a life for yourself that is more enjoyable (feels better) than the life you experienced with your bad habit. Fortunately, this can be an extremely enjoyable and creative adventure for you.